Good things come in threes

Three things on the agenda today. For all of you, that is.

1. First: let me make something clear. The overall view of this blog is to explore Émile Zola's quote, which I talked about in the first post, and how I can live life like that. That does not mean this will be a blog entirely focused on, say, having children.

I'm not going to lie, that would be an interesting blog:

 "Cute guy looked at me and smiled on the way to class today; does this mean we're destined to make babies together?!" "Invited out for coffee! One more step closer to having children WOOHOO!"

No no no no no, dear reader. I don't even know if I want children at this point. I'm in college. I'm not even sure if they allow babies at college. I'm still at the point in my life where the idea of children makes me want to hide in a cave, or better yet, go live in Antarctica. There are no children in Antarctica.

That said, I also won't be starting every blog post with, "Have I planted a tree today? Have I completed my masterpiece?!" Those are goals, dear reader. I'm working toward them, but this is about exploring my life. The actual philosophy of Zola is just an overview. I never really thought about it, but I guess someday, far into the future, if I accomplish those goals, the blog will be done.

I wouldn't have brought this up, but when I wake up and check Facebook before going to class, and the first thing I see for the day is a wall post reading, "Laura, I don't want to have children..." I know I've got some explaining to do. Capeachy? Capeachy.

2. I am considering...an experiment. *thunder thunder lightning lightning DRAMATIC MUSIC*

I can hear you right now: "Way to be elusive with the ellipses, Laura." Silence, reader! I am not going to tell you about the experiment right now, because I want to do research first. HOWEVER! Should I decide to go ahead with it, I'll be sure to blog and tell you all about it. It's pretty drastic (well, for me it is) and involves using myself as the subject. *thunder thunder lightning lightning*

Now that the paragraph of overdramatic DOOM is out of the way, let's move on to #3, shall we? I promise, it's pleasant.

3.

Favorite quote: "But once, in college, I dated a menorah." Oh, Bill Hader. Je t'aime. LET'S GET MARRIED SO WE CAN MAKE BABIES AND I CAN FULFILL ONE PILLAR OF THE PHILOSOPHY OF ZOLA! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS BLOG'S ALL ABOUT, RIGHT? RIGHT?! ...right?
Have a nice weekend.
P.S. Oh yeah, I'm doing that relatively minor thing this weekend where I TOUR THE WHITE HOUSE.  Think of me in there, chatting up Obama and all. I don't know if we're allowed to bring cameras in, but I'll at least tell you all about it!
P.P.S. Just looked up Bill Hader. He is, in fact, married, and just had a daughter earlier this month. Apparently he mouths hello to his wife and daughter during the closing credits of SNL (and no, I'm not a creeper at all. It was on Wikipedia). Awww. Let's have a gooey family love moment for Bill Hader.

Things I learned in college

...besides what you read in textbooks. You'd be surprised how much knowledge doesn't cost $99.95 at the campus bookstore. (Unfortunately, professors don't seem to buy into this.)

1. Converse may make your feet look cool, a la New Kids on the Block, but they are not good walking shoes. Plan to buy many Bandaids for your blistered feet. And while we're on the subject of shoes, clogs aren't good for long distances or up hills, flats will make your heels cry out in agony and turn purple, and flip-flops get dirty and wear out really fast. Just fyi.

2. Unless you're a naturally filthy person, or you make a habit of this and you stink after three days without bathing, people typically won't notice if you don't shower before going to your early morning class. 

I'm not saying make a habit of it, but if you need to roll out of bed and throw on some jeans every now and then, people don't care. Especially in a lecture hall setting. Repeat after me: THEY DON'T CARE. They're way too concerned about themselves. This rule may not apply if you attend a prep school of 1200 students that judge your brand of sweatpants.

Not to mention, this gives you an opportunity to shower over your lunch/afternoon break, which is a lovely, lovely experience. I could write a whole post about this. You get your favorite stall (and come on, we all know you have a favorite stall). You can take 20 minutes moisturizing, picking out your outfit, etc. You're not rushing anywhere. You can dry off in sunlight. I'd still wear shower sandals, though. 

3. Get to know your adviser. If you don't like him/her, get a new one if you can. A good adviser is the person who will point you in the right direction when you have one of those days where you love the arts but you want to make money and you were good at chemistry in high school, so maybe you should major in that? but you've never taken psychology so maybe that's a good option, but you don't want to waste your elective credits that you're planning on using for sign language and Harpoon Skills 101.

Yeah, anyway, sit down with them. They'll draw you up a plan. Speaking of electives, #4...

4. You can take an elective in almost anything, especially at a big school, like my Typical-East-Coast-Large-Public-University. 

Sometimes, though, you have to be in a certain major, or have a certain prerequisite course. If this happens, beg. Talk to the prof and tell him that your uncle was famous for harpooning whales in Alaska, and you always admired your uncle and wanted him to teach you the trade, but he never did because he thought it was too dangerous and he didn't want to see his niece/nephew get hurt. Ask if you can sit in for a class and have a syllabus. Sometimes, if they see you're putting in the extra time, they'll add you to the roster.

If this doesn't work, cry. That seems to get the job done.

5. You will get addicted to Facebook. Even if you swear you won't. Even if you give yourself a limit to the number of times you can log on per day. Even if you say, "Well, I won't comment on anything, so no one thinks I'm a creeper who spends my life on Facebook." You might eventually break yourself of the habit, but for a while, Facebook will be a good portion of your life.

6. No matter how awesome your classes sound when you pick them out, you'll probably be sick of them by the middle of the semester.

Unless, of course, you're taking Harpoon Skills 101.