Love does, indeed, die

Love never dies.

For you, dear reader, that may be the most romantic thing I could ever possibly type. For you, that sentence may conjure up images such as this:

Or this:

Or even this:

(I hate The Notebook, so I was gritting my teeth the entire time I was posting that picture, but that's another story for another time.)

Go ahead. Have your dreamy romantic moment of goo. I'll wait, before I crush it with sarcasm.



For me, however, the phrase brings this to mind:

(Okay, so I'm a little cynical, let alone morbid. Bear with me.)

But for Mr. Andrew Lloyd Webber, apparently, this phrase conjures up a musical. AND NOT JUST ANY MUSICAL, FOLKS! THIS very special show is none other than the sequel to Phantom of the Opera.

...yeah, I heard your gasp. I don't know if it was a gasp of horror or delight, but it was definitely a gasp. And, like your reaction to the phrase "Love Never Dies" versus mine, we're all going to have different viewpoints on this one. Some of you will be overjoyed. Some will hate the very idea. You can probably guess which category I fall into.

Anyway! As you might have guessed now, the sequel will be called Love Never Dies, and will open in London's West End in March, followed by a U.S. opening in November 2010. There's been a lot of buzz about it lately, mainly because there was a sneak preview at the beginning of the month, as well as a press conference held by Webber himself.

The plot? I'll try to write this without any wisecracks. Ten years after the events of PotO (not the Irish name for marijuana), our friend the Phantom arrives at Coney Island, where he terrorizes Americans. In vain, he hopes that his beloved Christine will come find him and be his, because he knows that...Love Never Dies. Also a major role is Gustave, the 10 year old son of Raoul and Christine.

Wow. I actually typed all that without cracking up.

I can just picture Webber summing all this up at the press conference:

ALW: (in a British accent) ...and so, that's the basic premise of the show.
*clap*
ALW: (nodding toward audience) Thank you, Mum. So, ah, any questions?

Reporter: How much was the loan for?

ALW: ...I beg your pardon?

Reporter: When you went to buy your new jumbo jet, and you realized while counting your cash that you didn't have quite enough, how much did the bank agree to loan you? That is, until you thought up a new crap show to pay it back?

ALW: It was a cruise line, actually. Which reminds me, after the conference, I've got free gift baskets of tea and caviar for everyone.

They also offered a preview of one song, "Till I Hear You Sing Once More," which you can find here, along with the website for the show. I don't deny it would be a very pretty love song, BUT NOT FOR THE PHANTOM AND CHRISTINE, DAMN IT.

I could go on a long, long rant about all this, but I'll spare you, and instead, give you a few study questions to ponder, like those kind you find for reading groups in the backs of your novels:

Study Questions (not to be attempted unless you've read this blog post and seen the preview video):


1. Describe the character of the Phantom. Would he really want to live at Coney Island for the sole purpose of terrorizing Americans on the boardwalk, who are busy buying taffy and all that, when he's really a genius architect/artist/musician/composer/whatever else Madame Giry said?

2. For that matter, how does the Phantom scare people? Jump out from behind ice cream carts with a "Boo"? Takes off his mask under the pretense of trying on Coney Island sweatshirts?

3. Upon watching the video, how did you react when you realized that the Phantom has had his face fixed? If you were Christine, would you leave Raoul for the newer, sexier Phantom? Is this shallow? Why?

4. What role do you think Gustave will play in the new musical? Do you find it a bit hard to believe that a ten year old could travel across the Atlantic Ocean to consort with a mysterious murderer without his parents noticing?

5. What makes the Phantom think that Christine would ever show up at Coney Island to see him again? Or, putting yourself in Christine's shoes, did she judge him too harshly for trying to kill her fiancé and murdering others?

6. And, lastly, how much money do you think this show will make Andrew Lloyd Webber? Will he be able to afford his cruise line? Or is this to gain back some of the dough he lost when he and Sarah Brightman divorced?

Please, if you know the answer to any of these, let me know.

Hey, I enjoyed Phantom of the Opera. I grew up with the music. I saw it on Broadway. I own the movie. In high school, the choir kids and I put on a Phantom-themed show for Halloween. (We were all a bit obsessed, if you want to know the truth.) But this? This is ridiculous.

Case in point: at the press conference, ALW said something like (I'm paraphrasing here), "I was never satisfied with the end of Phantom. When the Phantom leaves, we all want to know what happens after the show. I could picture some people leaving and wanting their money back, saying, 'This Webber guy is crazy!'" Here, he gives a nervous chuckle, at which no one else laughs.

Well, MR. Webber, most of the time I would actually agree with you. However, in this case, the end was the end. No one wanted their money back. It was good music. It was a good show. People wondered what happened to the Phantom, sure, but that was part of his mystery, and we all accepted it. THE PHANTOM DOES NOT GO TO CONEY ISLAND. HE DISAPPEARS. END OF STORY.

Not to mention, if you were that unsatisfied with the ending, Mr. Webber, why would you wait 24 years to rectify the situation? It's not like you have a day job.

Well, I'm done. Except for this, Mr. Webber: People may have very different opinions about your show, but contrary to your belief, some love does, indeed, die.

And I still might go see it. Eventually.