Things I learned in college

...besides what you read in textbooks. You'd be surprised how much knowledge doesn't cost $99.95 at the campus bookstore. (Unfortunately, professors don't seem to buy into this.)

1. Converse may make your feet look cool, a la New Kids on the Block, but they are not good walking shoes. Plan to buy many Bandaids for your blistered feet. And while we're on the subject of shoes, clogs aren't good for long distances or up hills, flats will make your heels cry out in agony and turn purple, and flip-flops get dirty and wear out really fast. Just fyi.

2. Unless you're a naturally filthy person, or you make a habit of this and you stink after three days without bathing, people typically won't notice if you don't shower before going to your early morning class. 

I'm not saying make a habit of it, but if you need to roll out of bed and throw on some jeans every now and then, people don't care. Especially in a lecture hall setting. Repeat after me: THEY DON'T CARE. They're way too concerned about themselves. This rule may not apply if you attend a prep school of 1200 students that judge your brand of sweatpants.

Not to mention, this gives you an opportunity to shower over your lunch/afternoon break, which is a lovely, lovely experience. I could write a whole post about this. You get your favorite stall (and come on, we all know you have a favorite stall). You can take 20 minutes moisturizing, picking out your outfit, etc. You're not rushing anywhere. You can dry off in sunlight. I'd still wear shower sandals, though. 

3. Get to know your adviser. If you don't like him/her, get a new one if you can. A good adviser is the person who will point you in the right direction when you have one of those days where you love the arts but you want to make money and you were good at chemistry in high school, so maybe you should major in that? but you've never taken psychology so maybe that's a good option, but you don't want to waste your elective credits that you're planning on using for sign language and Harpoon Skills 101.

Yeah, anyway, sit down with them. They'll draw you up a plan. Speaking of electives, #4...

4. You can take an elective in almost anything, especially at a big school, like my Typical-East-Coast-Large-Public-University. 

Sometimes, though, you have to be in a certain major, or have a certain prerequisite course. If this happens, beg. Talk to the prof and tell him that your uncle was famous for harpooning whales in Alaska, and you always admired your uncle and wanted him to teach you the trade, but he never did because he thought it was too dangerous and he didn't want to see his niece/nephew get hurt. Ask if you can sit in for a class and have a syllabus. Sometimes, if they see you're putting in the extra time, they'll add you to the roster.

If this doesn't work, cry. That seems to get the job done.

5. You will get addicted to Facebook. Even if you swear you won't. Even if you give yourself a limit to the number of times you can log on per day. Even if you say, "Well, I won't comment on anything, so no one thinks I'm a creeper who spends my life on Facebook." You might eventually break yourself of the habit, but for a while, Facebook will be a good portion of your life.

6. No matter how awesome your classes sound when you pick them out, you'll probably be sick of them by the middle of the semester.

Unless, of course, you're taking Harpoon Skills 101.